In preschool when I was 5, the boys bathroom had to get a ceiling repair so everyone had to use the girls bathroom and when I was in there some kid named Jimmy walked in.
And that was the first time I saw a penis
I love pine trees cause they consistently look like they’re flipping everyone off.
I live in the Evergreen State. I will never be able to unsee this.
"their mouths met and their tongUES DUELED FOR DOMINANCE. THE LOSER’S TONGUE WOULD BE SENT TO THE SHADOW REALM”
no one has a crush on me. i am too strong to be crushed
- world: we’re gonna use the scale where 0° is freezing and 100° is boiling.
- america: cool, we’re gonna use the one that doesn’t make sense.
cosmo sex tip 434
when he’s on his back, lay on his chest so that your body is slightly perpendicular to his
THEN HOOK HIS LEG AND PIN HIM FOR THE THREE-COUNT TO BECOME THE NEW WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
I think I cracked it:
- 3.01 Mozzarella
- 3.02 Fettuccine Alfredo
- 3.03 Pizza
- 3.04 Spaghetti Bolognese
- 3.05 Lasagne
- 3.06 Ravioli
- 3.07 Calzone (cross-over ep with Parks and Rec obvs. Bert Macklin has a lead)
- 3.08 Minestrone Soup
- 3.09 Pesto
- 3.10 Spaghetti Carbonara
- 3.11 Risotto
- 3.12 Amarone (Hannibal eats another census taker)
- 3.13 Gelato
- friend: *sneezes*
- me: bless your body bless your soul pray for peace and self control